the list you wish you were on.....

Ok....i will admit i was intrigued the second i saw the title.

it was staring at me from the facebook page.

did i dare answer it and put it out there for everyone to see?

i hesitated. thought about it.

but in the end, i decided that it didn't really fit on my facebook page. for everyone to look at, to question, to ask about.

really, it's my own personal preferences, not theirs.

it's better suited for another page, like this one. where i can be totally honest with myself, and you.

best of all, you don't really know me, so the comments you leave on my page will be a welcoming sight. and feel free to comment away too.

5 people i would go gay for.

yes. that's what it said.

and the first person i will admit that popped into my head was Angelina Jolie. i am telling you it is something about those lips of hers. those wonderful, thick lips. i mean think about it. if you want someone kissing you in all the right places, don't you want someone with lucious lips? and when push comes to shove (and other things) i betcha she would know just what to do. and hang from the chandelier too...

the second person i thought of was Pink. yes, the rocker chics could definitely do it for me. wild, crazy...always up for adventure. my special someone knows all about this one. i have admitted it to him, and he has even put me into a fantasy world at times with her. and damn....it was good. that's all i will say on that. for now.

the third person i thought of was Shane from "The L Word", otherwise known as Katherine Moennig. on the show, she is the essence of a bad girl, always going from one one-night stand to the next. also wild and crazy, i bet she would know exactly how to make me beg for more....

the fourth person i thought of was....Katy Perry. yes, i will admit. "I Kissed A Girl" has me very intrigued as to how it would all play out if i were to be someone's "experiemental game". or more likely, if i were the one in charge of that game. to start out so innocent, yet turn into something so passionate and promising...hmmm...

now i know the game says to pick 5, but i could not pick a 5th person. there was no one else who came to my mind that got my heart racing, my blood coursing, and who made me throb in all the right places. so this is my list.

my final four.

so....i ask you this.

who do you fantasize about? who makes you simmer on the inside?

is it a secret? or are you willing to say it out loud?

tell me....

your secret's safe with me. i promise.

after all, i trusted you with mine. it's only fair you know....

how's your karma today?

KARMA-1827-in Buddhism, the sum of a person's actions in one life, which determine his form in the next. The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during successive phases of the person's existence.

Do you believe in Karma? Can the actions of your past have a direct impact on the reactions of your future? Have you ever met someone whose future seems clouded by the shadows of their past?


i know someone like that. "x" (no names please...enough of them have already been used on this person as it is) has been one of those people who people seem to like upon first meeting, yet as you get to know them, you realize how hypocritical they really are. and there have been lots of bad blood flowing between us for quite a few years.


people are constantly telling me that i should retaliate. fight back. give an eye for an eye.


but i have a better plan. i will simply let his karma determine his future.


in a way, it has already happened.


"x" has lost several jobs. relationships have blossomed, only to fail. friends in high places soon fell to new lows. and ideals once thought to be held in such high esteem have been revealed to be much lower in priority than what was once thought.


in other words, x's karma has dictated his future.


and all i have to do is sit back, watch it unfold, and remember to always keep my focus in the right place.


after all, i have a wonderful future unfolding for me.


it's karma.

if anyone knows what i am thinking, please tell me!

I am worn out today...errr...i mean tonight. a long night last night with kids (not what you thought i was going to say was it?) coupled with an extremely early day at work, followed by yet another errand with the kids that was promised to them before the tiredness set in. is it any wonder my mind cannot form a coherent thought right now? i find myself bouncing around the internet from site to site...but nothing can hold my interest right now except my pjs and my bed. well...almost nothing. but now is not the time nor the place to speak about him. i will i promise. just not right now. my mind does not put words and phrases together quite right when i am so worn out.

the weekend is coming up. thank goodness. time to catch up on that missing sleep! but for now, i guess tonight will be an early night. i am sure the kids will think mom has gotten all old-age on them. let them think that. they will never suspect the true person that lurks within their mom. the woman who enjoys things they could never fathom in their lifetime. maybe it is better for them this way. they live in their delusional teenage world of video games, music, twitter, myspace and television shows. that is all the adventure they need right now.

music of the night

"Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation ...

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination ...

Silently the senses abandon their defenses ...

Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendour ...

Grasp it, sense it - tremulous and tender ...

Turn your face away from the garish light of day,

turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light -

and listen to the music of the night ...

Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams!

Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before!

Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar!

And you'll live as you've never lived before ...

Softly, deftly, music shall surround you ...

Feel it, hear it, closing in around you ...

Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind,

in this darkness which you know you cannot fight -

the darkness of the music of the night.

Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world!

Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before!

Let your soul Take you where you long to be!

Only then can you belong to me ...

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication!

Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation!

Let the dream begin,

let your darker side give in to the power of the music that I write -

the power of the music of the night ...

You alone can make my song take flight - help me make the music of the night ... "

~Andrew Lloyd Weber

"Music of the Night" from "Phantom of the Opera"

this is how i choose to start my blogging experience. the words of this song give such a powerful image...an image i wish to be true in my life.

to be able to purge my mind of the life i lived before, to boldly be able to open up to a whole new existence outside my realm of perception. to be who i want to be.

if you have not heard it, i highly suggest you listen to David Cook's version of this song. Andrew Lloyd Weber himself told him to sing it with every emotion he could, to envision singing it to the love of his life. to make the words personal.

we all have a darker side of us. few can embrace it and learn to love it...many want to shove it under a rock and forget it exists. but why would you do that, when it can give you such pleasure?

this is my first post. hopefully throughout this experience, this ride called life that i am on...i can learn more as i reach even further than i even can imagine. help me make the music of the night an everflowing song that fills my heart and soul.